In our various church discussion groups this year we have been looking at factors that are important to our community and church life and what effect, if any, Jesus and Christian belief has had on these factors. Among other things, we have looked at forgiveness and its importance in a civilised society.
During our travels we have lived in societies where blood feuds were common. Even in the village we lived in in France, one half of the village was not speaking to another half of the village for a couple of decades because of the damage done to a tobacco field of one group by a goose of the other group! It caused huge problems in the village until it was sorted out. There is still a culture of tit for tat in many communities in our country. So, how can you manage relationships in a community or, for that matter, a marriage without forgiveness.
Going back to the Roman and ancient Greek cultures, forgiveness was counted as weakness and people who forgave ill done to them were despised. In Jewish times forgiveness was conditional. If you did something wrong there was no forgiveness until a certain ritual had been followed involving the temple sacrifice etc.
So practically, if somebody harms me, why should I forgive them? How should I forgive them? Do I forgive people who have not said sorry? This is not the practice in many societies. However, we have an example of unconditional forgiveness in the life and death of Jesus. We sinned against God. Jesus, God in human flesh, took the cost of our sins when He died on the cross, way before anybody repented of their wrong doings. This is a difficult concept, but I find that the following story helps me to understand it.
There were once a couple of friends at university. When they left, one became a criminal and one a judge. The criminal was arrested, taken to court and found himself in front of his ex-friend as judge. The case was picked up by the press and many people followed the court case. The criminal was found guilty and everybody wondered what sort of penalty the judge would pass on his ex-friend. The court was packed and there was silence as the judge passed sentence. He passed the toughest sentence available for this sort of crime and there was a gasp in the court. The prisoner had to pay a huge fine. What the court did not know was that once the judge had divested himself of his court clothes and wig, he made his way to where the prisoner was being held, took out his cheque book and wrote a cheque for the whole amount. That is what God, God in human form did. He took off all his heavenly paraphernalia, came to live in this chaotic world and Himself at the cross paid the full cost of our wrong doings, arrogance and putting ourselves in the place of God.
But what about justice? People in violent societies long for this and justice is the bedrock of a stable society. In a civilised society, if somebody does wrong, they are and should be arrested and made to pay for their deeds. That does not mean you have to hate them. We can forgive them. There is one religious group that makes a habit of keeping in touch with people who have damaged them while they are in prison and offering them temporary accommodation on their release to help them find their feet. Re-offending is rare in that group of prisoners.
In the Lord’s prayer, every Sunday and many times a week, we pray “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those people who do evil to us.” As Christians that is exactly what we should do.
Edwin Martin
Lay Leader